#1 humor site on the 'net

Jet Propelled Eagle

Soaring like an eagle with skid marks

Jet Propelled Eagle thanks to Jenn VanderGraaf

Birds of Spray

QuotaBills
Fowl: A four-letter bird. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Crowbar: Where birds can get a drink. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. - Tanyas

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

I will be the Thai equivalent of Eddie the Eagle. - Vanessa Mae

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

Impeccable: 1. Having immunity to woodpeckers; 2. Hidden from birds. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living - e e cummings

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Mosquito: 1. A small insect designed by God to make us think better of flies; 2. The state bird of New Jersey. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill. - Helen Keller

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

The shaft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our destruction. - Aesop

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton


Catch of the Day

What Are You Doing?

Can You Dig It

Speaking in Tongues for Animals

Baseball Photobomb

Great Quotes (B)

Wayne's Fish

If You're Happy And You Know It

Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side