Made His Bed

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Book lovers never go to bed alone. - Unknown

A revolution is not a bed of roses. - Fidel Castro

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

You have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. - Groucho Marx

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

I'm not afraid of spiders; I've had worse in my bed. - Donna Lynn Hope

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move. - Phyllis Diller

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

In bed, I'm totally impudent... (later) I got the feeling my prudence is coming back. - Archie Bunker

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

I thank the Lord I no longer have to go to work. I just get out of bed in the morning, and there it is - all around me. - Unknown

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. - Zig Ziglar

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright