#1 humor site on the 'net

Milk Cow Levels

Teat Tweets: Transparent cow wins illusive 4-H dairy prize

Milk Cow Levels thanks to Mel Hardman

What happens when a farmer milks a cow

QuotaBills
In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Charity is the sterilized milk of human kindness. - Oliver Herford

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Things are seldom what they seem. Skim milk masquerades as cream. - W S Gilbert

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

A good role is something that will stretch your abilities and make you go beyond your levels. - Jennifer Winget

Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising one's levels of aspiration and expectation. - Jack Nicklaus

When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

It takes someone with a vision of the possibilities to attain new levels of experience. Someone with the courage to live his dreams. - Les Brown

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too. - Joni Mitchell

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy


Pedal Car Mechanic

Winterpeg Warm

Box Biker

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Swingers

Patience and Wisdom

Hippo Race

Tank Top Security

Bus Office

I Lost My Job With Lifeline

Wet Rain

Boo Pumpkin

Downspout

Sausage Cat

Plastic Bottle Beach Art

Dog Shoes

Casket Car

Cafe Cappuccino

Redneck Car Swing

Need A Lifeguard?

Newfie Parkin' Only

What Are Friends For?

Piano Mover

Pumpkin Helmet