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Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
For every Pharoah there is a Moses. - Idries Shah

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow. - William Shakespeare

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

If Moses had been paid newspaper rates for the Ten Commandments, he might have written the Two Thousand Commandments. - Isaac B. Singer

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. - Ronald Reagan

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy


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