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Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
Lifeguard: Beachnut - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

Profit: Religious guy who talks to God - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell. - Emily Dickinson

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

A rigorous religion can be conceived and nurtured in ignorance. - Ravi Zacharias

If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? - Benjamin Franklin

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God's Bill of Wrongs. - Susie F

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

Democracy is also a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. - H L Mencken

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Most people have some sort of religion, at least they know which church they're staying away from. - John Erskine

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

Like a great Eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the ping and the pong. - Kelly

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

God trained Moses in a palace to use him in a desert. He trained Joseph in a desert to use him in a palace. - Ravi Zacharias

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are the same people. - G K Chesterton

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

Prayer and the Bible became a part of my everyday thoughts and beliefs. I learned to put my trust in God and to seek Him as my strength. - Rosa Parks

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

I you can make any leading religion of the world look like complete nonsense, you can be sure of only one thing: you haven't understood it. - Wilfred Cantwell Smith


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