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Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
Religion: a great perhaps. - Francois Rabelais

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The church is the great lost-and-found department. - Robert Short

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz

Of all the bad men, religious bad men are the worst. - C S Lewis

How far would Moses have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt? - Harry S Truman

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? - Benjamin Franklin

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

You can always borrow a corkscrew from a member of the Protestant Episcopal Church. - Chauncey Depew

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. - Thomas Paine

A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing. - Martin Luther

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

When I go from hence, let this be my parting word, that what I have seen is unsurpassable. - Rabindranath Tagore

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

God trained Moses in a palace to use him in a desert. He trained Joseph in a desert to use him in a palace. - Ravi Zacharias

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

It is from the Bible that man has learned cruelty, rapine, and murder; for the belief of a cruel God makes a cruel man. - Thomas Paine

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

The secret of my success? It is simple. It is found in the Bible, 'In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.' - George Washington Carver

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren

Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone. - Ravi Zacharias

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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