Nautical Sense of Humour

I need Vitamin SEA. - Unknown

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

Kinship: Your rich Uncle's boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. - English Proverb

I have always had the sea as my playground. - Alexander D. Oen

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. - John F Kennedy

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

Who is staring at the sea is already sailing a little. - Paul Carvel

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point. - Barack Obama

You'll never be as lazy as whoever names the fireplace. - Unknown

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The landlocked sea is Greek or Roman, the boundless sea is Portuguese. - Fernando Pessoa

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

If I could remember the names of all these particles I'd be a botanist. - Enrico Fermi

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them. - Arnold Palmer

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

How do we persevere when we're adrift at sea, severed from wherever or whomever is our 'home'? - Lois Anderson

Ideals are like the stars: we never reach them, but like the mariners of the sea, we chart our course by them. - Carl Schurz

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steven Wright

Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved. - C S Lewis

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm. - William Cowper

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

We must plant the sea and herd its animals using the sea as farmers instead of hunters. That is what civilization is all about - farming replacing hunting. - Jacques Cousteau

We have learned so many lessons,
Since our heads were bowed in grief,
That have kept our boat from crashing
On life's ragged, rocky reef. - Gertrude T Buckingham

We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar's 'Sea Pictures' at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared. - Ronnie Corbett

Like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea... we are far too easily pleased. - C S Lewis

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I should sooner live in a society governed by the first two thousand names in the Boston telephone directory than in a society governed by the two thousand faculty members of Harvard University. - William F Buckley