Nautical Sense of Humour

Leeks: Vegetables found in boats - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. - English Proverb

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

Trade unions are islands of anarchy in a sea of chaos. - Aneurin Bevan

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

They who dive in the sea of affliction, bring up rare pearls. - Charles H Spurgeon

I might survive a few days at sea. Probably not as long as Pi. - Suraj Sharma

The magic of Hawaii comes from the stillness, the sea, the stars. - Joanne Harris

The landlocked sea is Greek or Roman, the boundless sea is Portuguese. - Fernando Pessoa

They do certainly give very strange, and newfangled, names to diseases. - Plato

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

I met so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names. - Paris Hilton

If I could remember the names of all these particles I'd be a botanist. - Enrico Fermi

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. - Unknown

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower but they were here to meet the boat. - Will Rogers

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them. - Arnold Palmer

Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name BZJXXLLWCP is pronounced Jackson. - Mark Twain

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved. - C S Lewis

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite. - William Shakespeare

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be as beneficent as the sun or the sea, but if your rights as a rational being are trenched on, die on the first inch of your territory. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

We must plant the sea and herd its animals using the sea as farmers instead of hunters. That is what civilization is all about - farming replacing hunting. - Jacques Cousteau

The Norway lobster is known by a variety of different names: cigala in Spain, langoustine in France, Dublin Bay Prawn in Ireland. And in Italy, as well as the U.K., scampi. - Tom P. Bowles

There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar's 'Sea Pictures' at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared. - Ronnie Corbett

I should sooner live in a society governed by the first two thousand names in the Boston telephone directory than in a society governed by the two thousand faculty members of Harvard University. - William F Buckley