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Newfie Lawn Rolls

What a Newfie does when he wins the lottery

Newfie Lawn Rolls thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Owshegettinonb’ys?

Two men from Newfoundland were waiting at the bus stop when
a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf.
Sheamus said, “I'm gonna do dat when I win da lottery.”
“What’s dat den?” asks Mikey.
“Send me lawn away to be cut.”

QuotaBills
Meat: Grass once removed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb

A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. - Michael Pollan

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Laundress: A gown worn while sitting on the grass - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

A leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars. - Walt Whitman

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn. - Andrew V. Mason

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself. - Zenrin

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

I'm no miracle worker. I'm just a guy who rolls up his sleeve and goes to work. - Don Shula

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.' - Talmud

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. - Stewart Brand

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

One of my favorite things to make is homemade sushi. I know how to make the rolls and it's really fun to do. - Carly Rae Jepsen

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

Gardener: 1. Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up; 2. A man who never lets grass grow under his feet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grass: 1. The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden; 2. What grows by the yard and dies by the foot. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway


Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode