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Not-So-Bald Eagle

Birds of Hairsprey

Not-So-Bald Eagle thanks to Mel Hardman

Only the best of toupées for an American Bald Eagle

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A wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane

Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Honeycomb: Hair styling tool used by bees - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. - Oliver Herford

I will be the Thai equivalent of Eddie the Eagle. - Vanessa Mae

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore

There's one good thing about being bald: it's neat. - Milton Berle

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

If the Eagle Scouts had some sort of Sith equivalent, Marcone was it. - Jim Butcher

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

I used to think I'd like less grey hair. Now I'd like more of it. - Richie Benaud

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face. - Harry Hill

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Middle age is when your classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you. - Bennett Cerf

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Our oldest son was trying to find himself for about a year. Then one day he got a haircut, and found himself. - Phil Callaway

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

The shaft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our destruction. - Aesop

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


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