#1 humor site on the 'net

Open Face Sandwich

Hamming it up at lunch time

Open Face Sandwich thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt

What Do You See? - Part III

ThaiTanic

Aging Mermaid

Get Along Shirt

Bruce Lee Coffee

Dry Satellite

Carving The Turkey

Don't Break The Window

Nike Coffin

Redneck Ladder

Proof of Global Warming

Leading a Remote Life

Centaur of Attraction

Papa Burger

High Five, Son

What Do You See? - Part II

Moses' Headache Relief

The Creation