#1 humor site on the 'net

Painter Pail

How not to paint your house

Painter Pail thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Exterior house painting by Three Stooges Unlimited

QuotaBills
The painting has a life of its own. - Jackson Pollock

Every good painter paints what he is. - Rembrandt Van Rijn

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend. - John Singer Sargent

A brush of kindness can paint a smile on a face. - Robert M. Hensel

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

I hardly ever stretch the canvas before painting. - Jackson Pollock

I don't say everything, but I paint everything. - Pablo Picasso

The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting. - Andy Warhol

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint. - Edward Hopper

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. - Steven Wright

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

A painting is never finished — it simply stops in interesting places. - Paul Gardner

Pickup artist: An artist whose specialty is painting pictures of trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I did not literally paint that table, but the emotion it produces upon me. - Henri Matisse

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

Only when he no longer knows what he is doing does the painter do good things. - Edgar Degas

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

It's not your painting anymore. It stopped being your painting the moment that you finished it. - Jeff Melvoin

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Self-consciousness is the enemy of all art, be it acting, writing, painting, or living itself, which is the greatest art of all. - Ray Bradbury

The technology keeps moving forward, which makes it easier for the artists to tell their stories and paint the pictures they want. - George Lucas

Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump

Painting is a blind man's profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen. - Pablo Picasso

At some point in life the world's beauty becomes enough. You don't need to photograph, paint or even remember it. It is enough. - Toni Morrison

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Radar Speed Check

Camouflage Face

Crab Bridge

Illusive Animal Kingdom

Off The Wall Biker

Buffalo Art

TitanoBoa

Secret Graduation Gift

Fish Fingers

I'll Be Right There

Redneck Sandals

Down Under Statue

Ventriloquist Isolation

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

PEI Weather

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Shopping With Your Husband

Where is Waldo?

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

July 4th Balloon

Maritime Treat

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller