Pupcakes

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake. - Phyllis Diller

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

An inventor fails 999 times, and if he succeeds once, he's in. He treats his failures simply as practice shots. - Charles Kettering

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz