QuotaBillsKhaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile. - Tom Clark
The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday
The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard
It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz