Redneck Electric Pool

Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - Unknown

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown