Redneck Mattress

And so to bed. - Samuel Pepys

Mind over mattress. - Stephen Covey

Do it big or stay in bed. - Larry Kelly

Book lovers never go to bed alone. - Unknown

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

I'm good in bed. I can sleep all day. - Unknown

Early Rising: Triumph of mind over mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As you make your bed, so you must lie in it. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

You'd think I was Lazarus rising from the bed. - Archie Bunker

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. - Unknown

He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed. - Robert Gronock

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

You have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. - Groucho Marx

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

No civilized person goes to bed the same day he gets up. - Richard H Davis

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

I'm not afraid of spiders; I've had worse in my bed. - Donna Lynn Hope

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Lasting Impression: What a Sumo wrestler leaves in his mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's great to get up in the morning, but nicer to lie in bed. - Unknown

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labour. - John Ciardi

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

Bad habits are like a good bed; easy to get into but difficult to get out of. - Unknown

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. - Unknown

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with. - Jimmy Fallon

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone. - Fred Allen

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

In bed, I'm totally impudent... (later) I got the feeling my prudence is coming back. - Archie Bunker

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. - Robert Lynd

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You're welcome to come here, except my bed's from Ikea so it's more unstable than I am. - Unknown

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

Sunsets are great. Sunrises are a mixed bag. You either got up way too early or went to bed way too late. - Matt Dillon

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It's been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it's trying to blackmail me. - Gary Delaney

You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction. - George Lorimer

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. - Maya Angelou

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed. - Ann Landers

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

I thank the Lord I no longer have to go to work. I just get out of bed in the morning, and there it is - all around me. - Unknown

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. - Zig Ziglar

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait - I'm describing my bed again. - Bill Murray