Rembrandt's Anatomy Lessons

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles