Rembrandt's Anatomy Lessons

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nature is cheaper than therapy. - M P Zarrella

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller