#1 humor site on the 'net

Safest Restaurant In The World

Sandwich safety in Asheville, North Carolina

Safest Restaurant In The World thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Bacon is meat candy. - Unknown

Hogwash: Pig's laundry. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Zombies eat brains. You're safe. - Unknown

Either you like bacon or you're wrong. - Unknown

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

It is easy to be brave from a safe distance. - Aesop

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - Unknown

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Sour Kraut: Unhappy with the fare in the Berlin restaurant - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - John Shedd

Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

Do you think that suppository is gonna be safe from me there, Edith? - Archie Bunker

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

There is no conceivable situation in which it is not safe to trust God. - J. Oswald Sanders

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

The man who is in real danger is the man who thinks he is perfectly safe. - James M. Barrie

The purpose of anthropology is to make the world safe for human differences. - Ruth Benedict

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular. - Adlai E. Stevenson

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. - Mark Twain

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. - Kin Hubbard

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. - Gillian Flynn

I'm in love with the potential of miracles. For me, the safest place is out on a limb. - Shirley MacLaine

He that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

Platitudes are safe, because they're easy to wink at, but truth is something else again. - Hunter S. Thompson

If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. - John F Kennedy

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. - Maya Angelou

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Cannibal: 1. One who is fed up with people; 2. A person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter; 3. One who loves his fellow man with gravy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. - C S Lewis


Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey

Winter Tree

WrenchWare

Dog Sled

Winter Ready

Bread Dress

Bear With Me

Open-air schools in The Netherlands

Ghost Food

Toothpaste Holder

Two Face

Redneck Porch Hunter

Jeep Words

Elton or Eltoff?

Finger Physio

Fish Eye Lens

Nice Try, China

Urgent World War I Message