Saving Gas

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. - Tina Fey

My sole concern has been to save myself by work and faith. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork. - Sam Ewing

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

To save a man's life against his will is the same as killing him. - Horace

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false-face for the urge to rule it. - H L Mencken

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Influence is like a savings account. The less you use it, the more you've got. - Andrew Young

You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to. - Louis C.K.

Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. - C S Lewis

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. - Paula Poundstone

At 20 a man thinks he can save the world. At 40 he's lucky if he can save part of his salary. - Unknown

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing 'k' instead of 'ok'? - Unknown

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street. - Dr. Seuss

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz