Saving Gas

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Save your good times till later. - Unknown

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We have art to save ourselves from the truth. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

Let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. - Kahlil Gibran

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing 'k' instead of 'ok'? - Unknown

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street. - Dr. Seuss

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking. - Theodore I Rubin

If you want to achieve things in life, you've just got to do them; and if you're talented and smart, you'll succeed. - Juliana Hatfield

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

"We had to save you because you're the mockingjay, Katniss," says Plutarch. "While you live, the revolution lives." - Suzanne Collins

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly