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Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations

Scratch-Off Parking Tickets thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Winners plan, prepare, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet. - Unknown

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Common sense is just as good a critic of the lottery as any statistical breakdown. - Hunter Baker

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. - Unknown

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

All are inclined to believe that they covet, from a lottery ticket up to a passport to Paradise. - Lord Byron

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! - Homer Simpson

Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track. - Matthew Keith Groves

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


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