#1 humor site on the 'net

Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations

Scratch-Off Parking Tickets thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Winners plan, prepare, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

What makes a winner as much as anything: luck. - Red Auerbach

A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins. - Unknown

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

There'll be only one winner now - in every sense. - David Coleman

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I would rather play a gloating winner than a sobbing loser. - Unknown

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

Winners are not those who never fail but those who never quit. - Zig Ziglar

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Winners in life don't always win; they just don't give up. - Unknown

Life is a game show where the people who enjoy it are the winners. - Orson Bean

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

This is the machine age. The only thing people do by hand is scratch themselves. - Joe Laurie

Only a loser thinks of failures. A winner looks upon them as temporary setbacks. - Dave Mani

Common sense is just as good a critic of the lottery as any statistical breakdown. - Hunter Baker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Winners lose more than losers. They win and lose more than losers, because they stay in the game. - Terry Paulson

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track. - Matthew Keith Groves

The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better. - Barbra Pletcher

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


Awesome 'P' Door

Snake Shortener

Scientific Driving Test

Fire Engine

First Impressions

On Its Last Legs

Fire Truck

Living In A Bubble

Underwater Smoking

Burger Sale

PLZSTOP

Fawn Of You

Baby's Off Day

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Why Wear A Safety Helmet?

It's Making This Weird Noise

Awkward

German Emergency Road Share

Bikini Photobomb

Hands Free Cell Phone

Defence Budget Cuts

Click Click Imaging Specialists

Soldier Salute