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Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations

Scratch-Off Parking Tickets thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
A winner never whines. - Paul Brown

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Winners never quit, quitters never win. - Vince Lombardi

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

What makes a winner as much as anything: luck. - Red Auerbach

A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Winners in life don't always win; they just don't give up. - Unknown

Life is a game show where the people who enjoy it are the winners. - Orson Bean

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The most distinguishing feature of winners is their intensity of purpose. - Alymer Letterman

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

Common sense is just as good a critic of the lottery as any statistical breakdown. - Hunter Baker

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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