#1 humor site on the 'net

Scuba Diving Sucks

Up close whale shark pictures

Scuba Diving Sucks thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

The status quo sucks. - George Carlin

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There is no gravity. The earth sucks. - Graffito

My clients are the whales and the seals. - Paul Watson

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Why don't you take a high dive into the clam drip? - Archie Bunker

There is no eel so small but it hopes to become a whale. - German Proverb

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

They who dive in the sea of affliction, bring up rare pearls. - Charles H. Spurgeon

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

I write many essays on whales. I love whales, especially orcas. And dolphins. - Millie B. Brown

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

If I see something sagging, bagging, and dragging, I'm going to nip it, tuck it, and suck it. - Dolly Parton

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Heat Expands

Drink, Don't Drive!

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Chicago Politics

BigFoot Caught On Tape

Bookstore Entrance

Computer Detergent

Covid-Friendly Smoker Hood

Ethiopian Math

Batman Equation

a real Bald Eagle

The Meaning Of Life

Back To The Fuchsia

Horse Mane Macrame

Out Of Estrogen - Make My Day

Staff Communications

Sew It Seams

Muslim Camel

Sister DNA

Join The Resistance

Rabbi Road

Vatican Chess

Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs