#1 humor site on the 'net

Scuba Diving Sucks

Up close whale shark pictures

Scuba Diving Sucks thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The story of Noah and the whale. - Archie Bunker

There is no gravity. The earth sucks. - Graffito

My clients are the whales and the seals. - Paul Watson

Ships are expendable; the whales are not. - Paul Watson

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Why don't you take a high dive into the clam drip? - Archie Bunker

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

They who dive in the sea of affliction, bring up rare pearls. - Charles H Spurgeon

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males. - Warren Farrell

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. - Unknown

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

If I see something sagging, bagging, and dragging, I'm going to nip it, tuck it, and suck it. - Dolly Parton

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah?
He used to live in whales for a while. - Groucho Marx

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen. - Archie Bunker

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train