#1 humor site on the 'net

Sign Model

When 'No Diving' is merely an invitation

Sign Model thanks to Keith Blake

Who made the first 'No Diving' sign?

QuotaBills
Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

I try to figure out the marketing puzzle. - Nelson Peltz

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

By listening, marketing will re-learn how to talk. - David Weinberger

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

I've been told I'm a role model to many women. - Donald Trump

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

No great marketing decision was ever made on quantitative data. - John Sculley

People can have the Model T in any color - so long as it's black. - Henry Ford

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Don't be afraid to get creative and experiment with your marketing. - Mike Volpe

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy after. - Oliver Goldsmith

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

Marketing is no longer about the stuff that you make, but about the stories you tell. - Seth Godin

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Unknown

An expert knows the subject very well. A model teaches by showing instead of just telling. - Thomas Leonard

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride, because it shows you trust in your own powers. - Mother Teresa

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. - R Buckminster Fuller

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki


Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike

Chip and Dip

Cat Couch Nap

Redneck Trophy Fish

Country Irony

'None Of The Above' Election Option

I've Got Your Back

Vintage Campers

Great Minds of History

But That Was Yesterday

Trudeau's Top Fails

Picture Of Me Getting Naked

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Fear Of Change

Yes!

Unger Games