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Simon's Gas

When Simon's Car needs Simon's Cat's Advice

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Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. - Unknown

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it. - Ogden Nash

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

You pray for the hungry. Then you feed them. That's how prayer works. - Pope Francis

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

When I lived in Delhi, I used to visit the Lodhi Gardens and feed the pigeons, crows, and ducks there. - Sangram Singh

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


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