Sports Hernias

Sports is human life in microcosm. - Howard Cosell

Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward

When money speaks, truth keeps silent. - Russian Proverb

A fool and his money are soon partying. - Steven Wright

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

He does not own money whose money owns him. - St. Cyprian

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. - WC Fields

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

When I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar. - Paul Clisura

A grandfather carries pictures where his money used to be. - Joe-kster

When a habit begins to cost money, it's called a hobby. - Jewish Proverb

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

If a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. - Chinese Proverb

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

An education obtained with money is worse than no education at all. - Socrates

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

In our world, more often the truth is 'Money talks and integrity walks.' - Bill Welker

Surfing's one of the few sports that you look ahead to see what's behind. - Laird Hamilton

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet

It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. - Suze Orman

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell. - WC Fields

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran