Straight From The Cow

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? - George Carlin

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Proverbs are the cream of a nation's thought. - Unknown

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Cream always rises to the top... so do good leaders. - John Paul Warren

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

I'm against a homogenized society, because I want the cream to rise. - Robert Frost

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Flour and butter, cream and sugar, words and images - all the ingredients for a rich, tasty story. - Rona Simmons

My opponent called me a cream puff. Well, I rushed out and got the baker's union to endorse me. - Claiborne Pell

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

I never waited for my Irish Cream coffee to be the right temperature, with a storm happening outside and my fireplace crackling... I wrote every day, at home, in the office, whether I felt like it or not. - Stephen J. Cannell