Straight From The Cow

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? - George Carlin

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Charity is the sterilized milk of human kindness. - Oliver Herford

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

Things are seldom what they seem. Skim milk masquerades as cream. - W S Gilbert

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

Flour and butter, cream and sugar, words and images - all the ingredients for a rich, tasty story. - Rona Simmons

My opponent called me a cream puff. Well, I rushed out and got the baker's union to endorse me. - Claiborne Pell

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too. - Joni Mitchell

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What makes me happy is just curling up with my mom in her bed and watching a marathon of 'CSI' and 'Grey's Anatomy' episodes with pints of ice cream. - Taylor Swift

A lot of people think Passover just means you can't eat bread. But it's so much more than that. I love ice cream, but it has corn syrup in it, so I can't eat it. - Marsha Cohen

Boston is the cream of the crops of the marathon world. It has such history that you feel such honor just being a part of it. All the other races have pacers to get you to a Boston qualifying time. - Summer Sanders

I never waited for my Irish Cream coffee to be the right temperature, with a storm happening outside and my fireplace crackling... I wrote every day, at home, in the office, whether I felt like it or not. - Stephen J. Cannell