#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Bakery

Bubba bakes cookies on the road

Texas Bakery thanks to Keith Blake

Outdoor cooking in Dallas

QuotaBills
Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

C is for cookie, and cookie is for me. - Cookie Monster

Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown

Success lies in the hands of those who want it. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Me writing about tennis is like a baker baking bread. - Ion Tiriac

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

You can't be a smart cookie if you have a crumbly attitude. - Unknown

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Admit it. The cookie dough is usually better than the actual cookies. - Unknown

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Your resemblance to a muppet will prevent the world from taking you seriously. - Unknown

My weak spot is laziness. Oh, I have a lot of weak spots: cookies, croissants. - Anthony Hopkins

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Because you don't live near a bakery doesn't mean you have to go without cheesecake. - Hedy Lamarr

Today I will live in the moment unless it's unpleasant in which case I will eat a cookie. - Unknown

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies. - Suze Orman

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

Sometimes me think, 'What is Friend?' and then me say, 'Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.' - Cookie Monster

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

I use nothing but the best ingredients. My cookies are always baked fresh. I price cookies so that you cannot make them at home for any less. And I still give cookies away. - Debbi Fields

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams


Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver

Tight FM Bandwidth

Boat Hurdles

Sign Model

In Stock Guarantee

Microslave: You're Not Going Anywhere Today

Homing Pigeon Sale

Extra Weight

Proof of Global Warming

Colgate Advertising Campaign

Ship Tow

Canadian Warship

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Canadian Smart Car

I Like Cooking

Balanced Meal

Acoustic Hearing Aids