#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Cow Cleaner

Bubba provides mooving hairstyles for his cattle

Texas Cow Cleaner thanks to Keith Blake

Manicure for Daisy

QuotaBills
Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clean your finger before you point at my spots. - Benjamin Franklin

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vacuum Cleaner: 1. A sonic broom; 2. A broom with a stomach. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret of my success was clean living and a fast outfield. - Lefty Gomez

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. - Cecil Baxter

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty. - Imbesi's Law of Conservation of Filth

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good. - Abe Lemons

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up. - Groucho Marx

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing? - Katherine Whitehorn

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

The darn trouble with cleaning the house is it gets dirty the next day anyway, so skip a week if you have to. The children are the most important thing. - Barbara Bush

There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes, and the second is to wash the dishes in order to wash the dishes. - Thich Nhat Hanh

Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. - Dwight D Eisenhower


Tongue Shoes

Bomb Squad Prank

Redneck Waterslide

Wailea Beach

Apple Art

Origin of the Whoopee Cushion

Better Lawyer

Laundry Goat

Meat Loaf

Better With A Beard

Fat Twin Sisters

Breathe in the Ocean

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks