#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Rain Gauge

Even the beer's running low in Dallas

Texas Rain Gauge thanks to Spider Johnson

Where every drop counts

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I ran my fastest marathon in the rain. - Bill Rodgers

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

No person has the right to rain on your dreams. - Marian Wright Edelman

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. - Unknown

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. - Steven Wright

Print some money and give it to us for the rain forests. - Vivienne Westwood

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day. And another, in case it doesn't rain. - Mae West

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. - George Carlin

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses. - George Eliot

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

Laughter is like a windshield wiper - it won't stop the rain, but it will allow you to keep going. - Unknown

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

From where we stand the rain seems random. If we could stand somewhere else, we would see the order in it. - Tony Hillerman

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

The rain of Madre de Dios is similar to that of the Amazon, but there is a petrifying aspect to it, as if it seeks to wound rather than to nurture. - Tahir Shah


Canadian Whiskey

Winter Tree

WrenchWare

Dog Sled

Winter Ready

Bread Dress

Bear With Me

Open-air schools in The Netherlands

Ghost Food

Toothpaste Holder

Two Face

Redneck Porch Hunter

Jeep Words

Elton or Eltoff?

Finger Physio

Fish Eye Lens

Nice Try, China

Urgent World War I Message

Moostake

Online In The 60's

Quotes Matter

Zombie Mug

Redneck Pencil Sharpener

Clint Eastwood's Dog