Tonsil Ring

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Where gold speaks every tongue is silent. - Italian Proverb

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

A jest's prosperity lies in the ear of him that hears it, never in the tongue of him that makes it. - William Shakespeare

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler