Tonsil Ring

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The tongue is the worst part of a bad servant. - Juvenal

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue. - Andrew Lang

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

I go silent so I can write. When my tongue is wagging, my fingers are silent. - Sonia Rumzi

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

He that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

A jest's prosperity lies in the ear of him that hears it, never in the tongue of him that makes it. - William Shakespeare

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris