TV Conference

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. - Sir Francis Bacon

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump