TV Weather Forecast

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright