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Telegant: Looking good on TV - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness. - Ravi Zacharias

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

It's very nearly impossible to tell the truth in television. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room. - Red Skelton

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright


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