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The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

Despite the forecast, live like it's spring. - Lilly Pulitzer

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness. - Ravi Zacharias

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump


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