#1 humor site on the 'net

Uplifting Church

Moving experience with transmission cross leading way

Uplifting Church thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

The church is the great lost-and-found department. - Robert Short

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the towers of Ilium? - Christopher Marlowe

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ‘em. - Bernie Mac

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising one's levels of aspiration and expectation. - Jack Nicklaus

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy


Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Pine Trees Know When It's Easter

Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church

Handicap Ramp

Kick Out Boxing

Patience and Wisdom

Submarine Racing

Dead Sea Burgers

Sick Statue

I Will Never Understand Fashion

Courtesy Option

Ab Enhancer

Family Planning Advice

Cracks Me Up

Anger Release Machine

Closing Time

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car