#1 humor site on the 'net

Uplifting Throne

Not-for-disabled restroom, for not-so-fast relief

Uplifting Throne thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Bubba's toilet keeps working when the power goes out

QuotaBills
A throne is only a bench covered in velvet. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Stand up for truth, regardless of who steps on it. - Suzy Kassem

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

A man may build himself a throne of bayonets, but he cannot sit on it. - William R Inge

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps. - Confucius

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs. - Vance Havner

Do you think courage means being fearless? Or daring? Courage, real courage, is taking three steps when it terrifies you. - Catherine Anderson

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed. - Ram Dass

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Four steps to achievement:
1. Plan purposefully.
2. Prepare prayerfully.
3. Proceed positively.
4. Pursue persistently. - William A. Ward

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

If a preacher is not first preaching to himself, better that he falls on the steps of the pulpit and breaks his neck than preaches that sermon. - John Calvin

Have a bias towards action - let's see something happen now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away. - Indira Gandhi

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


Big John

Do Must Marriage

Shopping-ish

Head Twins

Pickup Park

Diet Hard

Go Nowhere Bike

Master Reference Binder

Do You See A Bird or a Girl?

Car Moochanic

Wife's Small Mistake

Redneck TP

Backwards Clock

Redneck House Move

New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner