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Welfare Dogs

Does your dog have what it takes?

Welfare Dogs thanks to Roy Taylor

This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, 'Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.' So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in colour, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no friggin' clue who their Daddy's are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first checks on Friday. Darn, this is a great country!

QuotaBills
Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Unemployment is of vital importance, particularly to the unemployed. - Edward Heath

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

We should measure welfare's success by how many people leave welfare, not by how many are added. - Ronald Reagan

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Its success lies in the fact that it's an insurance plan, not an investment plan or a welfare plan. - James Roosevelt

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare. - Edmund Burke

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers


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