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Welfare Dogs

Does your dog have what it takes?

Welfare Dogs thanks to Roy Taylor

This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, 'Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.' So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in colour, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no friggin' clue who their Daddy's are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first checks on Friday. Darn, this is a great country!

QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

A jester unemployed is nobody's fool. - Danny Kaye

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Unemployment is of vital importance, particularly to the unemployed. - Edward Heath

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

What's the good of being a genius if you can't use it as an excuse for being unemployed? - Gerald Barzan

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


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