#1 humor site on the 'net

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

Home security system in Winterpeg, Manitoba

Who Needs a Guard Dog? thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

Quarantine: When a youth locks himself in his bedroom for months at a time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

The game is played not to protect the rules; rather, the rules are made to protect the game. - Ravi Zacharias

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind. - Virginia Woolf

My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key. - Frederick Saunders

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Accountant: 1. A noble insect; 2. A dutiful book balancer whose role within a corporation is to protect it from creative ideas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden


Saying Pun

Redneck Blinds

Kid Disposal

Motorvation

Electric Football

Montgomery Ward 1934 Christmas Catalog

Halloween Lamp

Making Music Together

Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration