#1 humor site on the 'net

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

Home security system in Winterpeg, Manitoba

Who Needs a Guard Dog? thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

Quarantine: When a youth locks himself in his bedroom for months at a time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

The game is played not to protect the rules; rather, the rules are made to protect the game. - Ravi Zacharias

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind. - Virginia Woolf

My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key. - Frederick Saunders

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Accountant: 1. A noble insect; 2. A dutiful book balancer whose role within a corporation is to protect it from creative ideas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden


Fat Twin Sisters

Breathe in the Ocean

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas