Windscreen Spoon

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. - John Lithgow

Only the spoon knows what is stirring in the pot. - Italian Proverb

She who sups with the devil should have a long spoon. - English Proverb

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. - Byrd Baggett

Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield. - Price Cobb

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug. - Mark Knopfler

Some days you're the bug. Some days you're the windshield. - Price Cobb

What you have put into the kettle comes afterwards into your spoon. - Turkestan Proverb

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

Rivers in the United States are so polluted that acid rain makes them cleaner. - Andrew Malcolm

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

The only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing? - Katherine Whitehorn

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman