You Can Keep It

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell