You Can Keep It

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

He who has reaped the profits has committed the crime. - Seneca

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud