#1 humor site on the 'net

Young Body Painter

Little Johnny's childhood models were paint by number

Young Body Painter thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

Education is the art of making man ethical. - Georg Hegel

Maintenance is as much art as it is science. - Unknown

I teach the art of turning anguish into delight. - Georges Bataille

An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one. - Charles Horton Cooley

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The sole art that suits me is that which, rising from unrest, tends toward serenity. - Andre Gide

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. - Eleanor Roosevelt

No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses - one vaccine at a time, over time. - Donald Trump

What we have to do, what at any rate it is our duty to do, is to revive the old art of Lying. - Oscar Wilde

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. - C S Lewis

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

We all know that art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth, at least the truth that is given us to understand. - Pablo Picasso

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

Art begins with resistance - at the point where resistance is overcome. No human masterpiece has ever been created without great labor. - Andre Gide

The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush. - Sylvester Stallone

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Bill Gates has always been a mentor and inspiration for me even before I knew him. Just growing up, I admired how Microsoft was mission-focused. - Mark Zuckerberg

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin


Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big

Spot the Man's Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans