9 Months On The Inside

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Joy is the feeling of grinning on the inside. - Melba Colgrove

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside. - Unknown

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik