#1 humor site on the 'net

Ab Enhancer

Take my ab-vice - this exercise machine kicks butt

Ab Enhancer thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Are you a pseudo-athlete?

QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

I don't trust any diet that doesn't allow sugar. - Bethenny Frankel

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

We don't get fat because we overeat; we overeat because we're getting fat. - Gary Taubes

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

I don't weigh myself because most scales don't know how heavy all the grudges I'm holding onto are. - Unknown

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

Does America really need to be the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity. - Trevor Noah

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine