Advice For Married Men

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

How great in number are the little-minded men. - Plautus

Perfect numbers, like perfect men, are very rare. - Rene Descartes

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. - Moliere

A jury is composed of twelve men of average ignorance. - Herbert Spencer

Veiled Threat: When your girlfriend hints at a wedding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men are so willing to respect anything that bores them. - Marilyn Monroe

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men often applaud an imitation, and hiss the real thing. - Aesop

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Thinnest Book in the World: 'What Men Know About Women' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I preach as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men. - Richard Baxter

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Few men have the natural strength to honour a friend's success without envy. - Aeschylus

Young men want to be faithful and are not; old men want to be faithless and cannot. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

I believe in trusting men, not only once but twice - in giving a failure another change. - James C Penney

The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear. - Herbert Agar

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. - Betsy Salkind

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him. - Niccolo Machiavelli

One machine can do the work of a hundred ordinary men, but no machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their job. - Samuel Goldwyn

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist. - Edgar W Howe

Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on - Mignon McLaughlin

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

I really believe that more harm is done by old men who cling to their influence than by young men who anticipate it. - Owen D. Young

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth. - Norman Cousins

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. - Charles Dickens

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. - Viktor Frankl