#1 humor site on the 'net

All Mine

The tail end of an excellent fish diet

All Mine thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Catch of the century!

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it. - Thomas Jefferson

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb


A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Point Of View

Good Conductor

Kelp Us!

Croc Lunge

Tree Awning

Oversize Load

Redneck Spoon

Cheating

Be Very Quiet

Quick Rubik's Cube

Window Sundial

Helping Hands

Short On Electricity

Amish Friends

Spiral Roots

Tree Sorrow

Domino Crossing

Family Reunion

Roll Me Over

Hockey PlayHers

Concealed Weapon

Lettuce Face

Devoted Husband