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As We Get Old

How to solve an old guy's problems

As We Get Old thanks to Roy Bishop

Reliving the good times

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.”

“Now I have a $500,000 home, a $35,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.

QuotaBills
So much work, so few women to do it. - Unknown

A rich man has no need of character. - Hebrew Proverb

Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr

There is no reason to repeat bad history. - Eleanor Holmes Norton

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Public behavior is merely private character writ large. - Stephen Covey

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

Courage combined with integrity is the foundation of character. - Brian Tracy

Thinnest Book in the World: 'What Men Know About Women' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. - Ambrose Bierce

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Reason is a harmonising, controlling force rather than a creative one. - Bertrand Russell

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. - John Wooden

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The world may take your reputation from you, but it cannot take your character. - Emma Dunham Kelley

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

He who establishes his arguments by noise and command shows that his reason is weak. - Michel de Montaigne

Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. - Elbert Green Hubbard

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself. - Paul Bryant

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

Great acting is being able to create a character. Great character is being able to be yourself. - John Leguizamo

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Flirt: 1. A girl who got the boy you wanted; 2. A woman who believes it's every man for herself. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly. - Michel de Montaigne

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Xylophone: Revolutionary communication device that turns the sounds of the voice into a mellow, musical chime - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin


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