#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby iMac

How an iMac is born

Baby iMac thanks to Keith Blake

Race to the finish line...

QuotaBills
Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Baby Boomer: A kid who just polished off six jars of raspberry jam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


She's A Keeper

Algebra Relationship

Pumpkin Races

Bed Equalizer

David's Return To Italy

Sick Pumpkin

Winning An Argument With A Woman

Why Dogs Bite Their Owners

Barcode Eyelashes

Howloween

Caviar Burger

Icelandic Police Donuts

Size Matters

Crowd Surfing - Expert Level

Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot