#1 humor site on the 'net

Bacon Guitar

Hamming it up at the next jazz session

Bacon Guitar thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Laying it thick on the music chords

QuotaBills
Bacon is meat candy. - Unknown

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Either you like bacon or you're wrong. - Unknown

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Ike runs the country, and I turn the pork chops. - Mamie Eisenhower

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

If you play acoustic guitar you're the depressed, sensitive guy. - Elliott Smith

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Marriages are all happy. It's having breakfast together that causes all the trouble. - Irish Proverb

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

The guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic. Every string is a different color, a different voice. - Andres Segovia

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Parking Forever

I've Got Time

Red Wine Diet

Nice Try, Mom

Flight of the Ladybug

Time To Retire

Chess On The Wall

Tree Face

Bad Day Flyer

Back Bard

St. Peter's Fish

Feed Me

Horse Model

Get In Line!

Coffee World

Horsing Around

Think Big

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible

Break Dance Soccer