#1 humor site on the 'net

Baptised Trespassers

Swept off your feet in the parking lot

Baptised Trespassers thanks to Jim Serritella

Parking for Church members only

QuotaBills
Center Of Mass: The Priest - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He was a wise man who invented God. - Plato

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

God sends meat - the Devil sends cooks. - Charles VI

Prayer - the last refuge of a scoundrel. - Homer Simpson

Ultimately, blind faith is the only kind. - Mason Cooley

A man with God is always in the majority. - John Knox

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

God heales, and the Physitian hath the thankes. - George Herbert

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. - Unknown

Some Catlick priest sprinkling incest over everyone. - Archie Bunker

Love beauty; it is the shadow of God on the universe. - Gabriela Mistral

I had to deny knowledge in order to make room for faith. - Immanuel Kant

Today's church wants to be raptured from responsibility. - Leonard Ravenhill

God does not require we be successful, only that we be faithful. - Mother Teresa

If God had wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise. - Johann von Goethe

If you have the smile of God, all other frowns are inconsequential. - Tim Keller

In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you. - Leo Tolstoy

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

I had only a little time left and I didn't want to waste it on God. - Albert Camus

It's not dying for faith that's so hard, it's living up to it. - William Makepeace Thackeray

A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God. - Brennan Manning

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

There's a difference between an intellectual faith and a personal, heart faith. - Billy Graham

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

There are other ways of recognizing the existence of God, through nature for instance. - Billy Graham

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I'm tired of praise; and love is very sweet, when it is simple and sincere like this. - Louisa May Alcott

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

God puts you on the runway and takes you off the runway. What you do on the runway is up to you. - Unknown

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. - Frederick Buechner

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

When God blesses you financially, don't raise your standard of living: raise your standard of giving. - Mark Batterson

It was inevitable that Jesus Christ should be crucified. It was also inevitable that He should rise again. - H R L Sheppard

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. - Abraham Lincoln

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

Praise or blame has but a momentary effect on the man whose love of beauty in the abstract makes him a severe critic on his own works. - John Keats

Be yourself no matter what other people think. God made you the way you are for a reason. Besides, an original is always worth more than a copy! - Unknown


Nose Siphoner

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out

UPS and DOWNS

Good Luck Angel

Hosanna in Excel Sheets

British Kingdom

Dance With Me

Mouse Trick

Black Friday Scam

Pianist's Challenge

Economy Flight

Diamond Ring TP

Water Transformer Hazard

Office Irony

Covid Vaccine Testing

The Hills Are Closed

Temperature Tax

Social Distancing Shoes