Birth Control At Its Finest

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds