Birth Control At Its Finest

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Nature is cheaper than therapy. - M P Zarrella

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer