#1 humor site on the 'net

Birth Control At Its Finest

Preventing back seat accidents

Birth Control At Its Finest thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Nature is cheaper than therapy. - M P Zarrella

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle