#1 humor site on the 'net

Bottle Curtains

It only took 6 months of hooch for Bubba to create his wine deck curtains

Bottle Curtains thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Truly a Redneck's Winetopia!

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker

Cranberries: Grapes with hypertension - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Comedy is like catching lightning in a bottle. - Goldie Hawn

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! - The Wizard of Oz

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

An iron curtain has descended across the continent. - Winston Churchill

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

True beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and tubes. - Unknown

Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New Jersey. - Woody Allen

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. - Groucho Marx

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

God is not a genie in a bottle, and your wish is not His command. His command better be your wish. - Mark Batterson

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah


Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver

Tight FM Bandwidth

Boat Hurdles

Sign Model

In Stock Guarantee

Microslave: You're Not Going Anywhere Today

Homing Pigeon Sale

Extra Weight

Proof of Global Warming

Colgate Advertising Campaign

Ship Tow

Canadian Warship

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Canadian Smart Car

I Like Cooking

Balanced Meal

Acoustic Hearing Aids

Redneck Advent Calendar

Programmer Logic

Lego Haircut

Lettuce Face

Hammock Wine

Catch Anything Lately?