#1 humor site on the 'net

Bus Shipwreck

Italian Cruise ship captain Francesco Schettino began his new job as a bus driver yesterday

Bus Shipwreck thanks to Barry McCartney

12 May 2017: Dubbed ‘Captain Coward’ by Italian media for abandoning ship in the middle of a rescue operation, former captain of the Costa Concordia, Francesco Schettino, was sentenced to 16 years in prison.
In 2012 he ordered the massive cruise ship into shallow waters, where it ran aground and later capsized. 32 people died.

QuotaBills
I don't give a ship! - Unknown

Like ships that clash in the night. - Archie Bunker

Italy is a geographical expression. - Prince Metternich

It's too late Edith, my bus has sailed. - Archie Bunker

I hope my ship comes in before my dock rots. - Unknown

Imported from a little town in Italy... Fresno. - Archie Bunker

Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

Zinc: What a ship will do if it has a hole in it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Oregano: The ancient Italian art of pizza folding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo. - Mark Twain

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

Big ships can only be launched where the water is deep. - Amish Saying

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - John Shedd

After the ship has sunk, a consultant knows how it might have been saved. - Newt Hielscher

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going? - Douglas Gauck

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the towers of Ilium? - Christopher Marlowe

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. - Thomas Carlyle

We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship. - Omar N Bradley

That's how ya got your Chinatown, your Harlems, your Little Italy... all them grettos. - Archie Bunker

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. - Thomas Aquinas

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy. - Bertrand Russell

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova

It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

You know that ISIS wants to go in and take over the Vatican? You have heard that. You know, that's a dream of theirs, to go into Italy. - Donald Trump

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


A Man Named Fred

Texas Wheel Mags

Redneck Combo Plumbing

Parking Squeeze

Tree Barking

Elephant Sunset

TP Safety

Locked Up Bull Elk

Duck Crossing

Peeping Snake

Hydro Water Power

Cutting Edge Delivery

Baby Scan

Redneck Mirror

Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils