QuotaBillsWoman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde
I hate women because they always know where things are. - Voltaire
Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin
I represent the 'Wonder Woman' of the new world. - Gal Gadot
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields
Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken
Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong
I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis
Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker
The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. - George Bernard Shaw
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell
She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong. - Mae West
My vigour, vitality, and cheek repel me. I am the kind of woman I would run from. - Nancy Astor
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham
When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy
A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
Looking at how successful all the Kardashian women are, I don't blame Bruce Jenner at all. - Trevor Noah
Beauty Parlor: 1. A place where women curl up and dye; 2. A place where everybody knows your MANE. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid
She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin
Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich
Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal.
- Daffynitions joe-ks.com