#1 humor site on the 'net

Cell Phone Book

For classes where cell phones aren't allowed

Cell Phone Book thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Books think for me. - Charles Lamb

No furniture so charming as books. - Sydney Smith

I don't read books. I write them. - Henry Kissinger

There is no friend as loyal as a book. - Ernest Hemingway

Wear the old coat and buy the new book. - Austin Phelps

Never read a book that is not a year old. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. - Unknown

Why don't you write books people can read? - Nora Joyce

A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Everything comes to him who waits. Except a loaned book. - Kin Hubbard

You can learn a line from a win and a book from a defeat. - Paul Brown

Wisdom is not wisdom when it is derived from books alone. - Horace

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain

An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied. - Arnold H. Glasow

I am not afraid that the book will be controversial, I'm afraid it will not be controversial. - Flannery O'Connor

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamed that I was reading on, so I awoke from sheer boredom. - Heinrich Neine

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

It is books that teach us to refine our pleasures when young, and to recall them with satisfaction when we are old. - Leigh Hunt

I have written a book. This will come as quite a shock to some. They didn't think I could read, much less write. - George W. Bush

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. - Sigmund Freud

When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before. - Clifton Fadiman

Many Muslims may not seek to kill the infidel, but they don't want to condemn those carrying out the holy book command. - Monica Crowley

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot


Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt

Statue Tug Of War

Kiosk Hours

Tight Fit

Life Is Beautiful

Buddha Pear

Yes!

Sunday Service Social Distancing

Mannequin Pointer