Child Support

Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

National Sarcasm Society. Like we need your support! - Unknown

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

Judging a child taking his first steps for not being able to run a marathon is shortsighted. - Tyler Winklevoss

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

Everybody shares one universal problem. To succeed you have to persuade others to support your vision, dream or cause. - Peter Guber

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself. - Unknown

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik