#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Fruit Tree

Decorating an edible Christmas tree

Christmas Fruit Tree thanks to Wayne Nowazek

No water needed - simply 'wet' your appetite!

Christmas Fruit Tree thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Christmas Fruit Tree thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Christmas Fruit Tree thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Layman: A citrus fruit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Impeach: A pixie fruit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The fruit of silence is tranquility. - Arabian Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Elderberry: Wisest fruit on the branch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

All men's gains are the fruit of venturing. - Herodotus

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is. - Frank Scully

Excellence in any pursuit is the late, ripe fruit of toil. - W.M.L. Jay

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. - Aristotle

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Plant the seed of meditation and reap the fruit of peace of mind. - Unknown

Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is. - H. Jackson Browne

The processes of growth are gradual, bearing fruit in a decade, not a day. - John F Kennedy

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs. - Joseph Addison

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau


Fawn Of You

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Redneck Beer Stacker

Hot Summer Days

mIndians

Mouthful Of Information

Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

'Pier' Pressure

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake